Wednesday, September 06, 2006
What's Going On?
Hey! I'm a slacker... What's been going on? Nothing really. My parents are moving to china for 3 years. We're buying their car (NICE!) Most of my friends have stopped calling, unwilling, coming over, for many reasons but regardless I'm becoming a hermit. I've been sick lately, so that hasn't helped. I'm Not taking any classes this semester (DUH!) due to complications that have arisen lately. WILL I NEVER GRADUATE?!? DEE is walking like a maniac and is all about destroying everything he can find. BLAH. My intelligence is starting to fail, even my one time of the week I could have a stimulating experience with adults (church) has been squashed. I was asked to work in the nursery so I work with (give or take) 10 kids from 18 months to 3 years of age. I feel like that woman in the commercial, do you remember? Where she's speaking baby talk to her kid the whole time and then her husband takes her to the opera and she comments on the "Iambic Pentameter ... wameter." I really should finish unpacking, since that's what needs to be done around here, but that is not exciting anymore. I've been doing it for months. BLAH BLAH! Oh by the way everyone is alive and healthy, I noticed there were some entries with no conclusions. No has died yet and everyone seems to be thriving (except me). Well Short and Sweet. Bye.
Wednesday, July 12, 2006
Thursday, May 25, 2006
Hypocrits Bug!
Ok, I was having some friends over to hang out and one brought a guy with her. I am so ok with that, the more the marrier. Well this guy was great, funny, smart, passionate about a lot of things. We were dicussing that some major changes that were happening around the area and we talked about our feelings of the growth and development. I really was impressed because he knows a guy that is trying to do a documentary of the upcoming building and such, as well as how the people of the community feel about it and how it will effect the culture (some people are very upset about the changes.) So he goes off an a tangent about how he really is excited about people who find a cause and are trying to make a difference in the world with it. The idea of rallying the people around to stand for something the person feels strong about. He states how he has a dream about finding something that he's so passionate about and how he loves the idea and yada yada yada. He goes on and we all agree and such. Then somehow the topic of missionaries is brought up and he just goes off about how he gets so angry with them and won't open the door. EVERYONE there was like "well wait" and I make the comment how it's so freaking hot we could atleast give them water. And this guy was like "No, they ..." and just freaks out about it all again. The friend who brought this guy interupted him and said "wait, you know they are mormon and they both..."
"I don't care" the guy goes on, "I hate seeing those stupid people trying to bug me and waste my time and ..." blah blah blah.
If you didn't know, both my husband and myself served missions for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. HELLO?!!
I kinda got a bit upset at him (but not to his face, I just murmured about it later, and am ranting about it now.) HYPOCRIT! I mean come on, I feel so passionate about my cause (or the Lord's cause) that I tried everything I knew to tell people about it (and still am), I even took the time to knock on everydoor I could for 18 monthes and tell people who might not have heard otherwise. Of course, this only teaches me that as honorable and "for the cause" as this guy and many others want to be, they are quite close minded, selfish and angry people, going against the whole concept of what he wanted to do, and being the stuborn person he wanted to change. Ok, now that's off my chest. Please feel free to comment or tell me I'm wrong or that this made no sense of any kind. It would be nice to hear ya'll thoughts this time.
"I don't care" the guy goes on, "I hate seeing those stupid people trying to bug me and waste my time and ..." blah blah blah.
If you didn't know, both my husband and myself served missions for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. HELLO?!!
I kinda got a bit upset at him (but not to his face, I just murmured about it later, and am ranting about it now.) HYPOCRIT! I mean come on, I feel so passionate about my cause (or the Lord's cause) that I tried everything I knew to tell people about it (and still am), I even took the time to knock on everydoor I could for 18 monthes and tell people who might not have heard otherwise. Of course, this only teaches me that as honorable and "for the cause" as this guy and many others want to be, they are quite close minded, selfish and angry people, going against the whole concept of what he wanted to do, and being the stuborn person he wanted to change. Ok, now that's off my chest. Please feel free to comment or tell me I'm wrong or that this made no sense of any kind. It would be nice to hear ya'll thoughts this time.
Friday, May 19, 2006
great quote!
Jed Babbin said that "going to war without France is like going deer hunting without an accordion."
Wednesday, March 29, 2006
Erg, I've been tagged
Wow how exciting I've received my first blog tag.
Now that I'm past all my post pardum poopoo I'm feeling all happy and chipper.
ok, it took a bit of investigation but I found out what I'm suppose to do with this tag...List 5 things most people don't know about me.
5. Well I figured out that most people don't know I have a mild fear of water. This stems from multiple near drowning experiences as a child (including a stupid SWIMMING teacher.) Therefore I am a poor swimmer and movies about ships sinking or people drowning (ex. "what lies beneath") really freak me out.
4. I have an addiction to stimulating my mouth, I know it sounds strange. I usually don't know I'm doing it, but I'm almost always biting a nail, cuticle, the inside of my mouth, or I chew gum. It's very hard for me not to be doing something, weird I know.
3. If I could have any job in the world my top three, not in any order, would be:
a movie director/producer, or a institute teacher (LDS religion classes), or work for the Peace Corp. or the UN (I get a little frustrated with them sometimes.)
2. Except in a few rare cases which will remain unnamed, I generally can not hold a grudge over night.
1. I love coffee, but I don't drink it. If I'm ever totally stressed out I'll go to the grocery store and just stand by the coffee and breath really deep for a minute or two.
Well there you have it! Now time to tag someone else....
I tag:
Heather
Cara
And I think, including steph who tagged me, that totals the people who read my blog. WooHoo
Now that I'm past all my post pardum poopoo I'm feeling all happy and chipper.
ok, it took a bit of investigation but I found out what I'm suppose to do with this tag...List 5 things most people don't know about me.
5. Well I figured out that most people don't know I have a mild fear of water. This stems from multiple near drowning experiences as a child (including a stupid SWIMMING teacher.) Therefore I am a poor swimmer and movies about ships sinking or people drowning (ex. "what lies beneath") really freak me out.
4. I have an addiction to stimulating my mouth, I know it sounds strange. I usually don't know I'm doing it, but I'm almost always biting a nail, cuticle, the inside of my mouth, or I chew gum. It's very hard for me not to be doing something, weird I know.
3. If I could have any job in the world my top three, not in any order, would be:
a movie director/producer, or a institute teacher (LDS religion classes), or work for the Peace Corp. or the UN (I get a little frustrated with them sometimes.)
2. Except in a few rare cases which will remain unnamed, I generally can not hold a grudge over night.
1. I love coffee, but I don't drink it. If I'm ever totally stressed out I'll go to the grocery store and just stand by the coffee and breath really deep for a minute or two.
Well there you have it! Now time to tag someone else....
I tag:
Heather
Cara
And I think, including steph who tagged me, that totals the people who read my blog. WooHoo
Sunday, January 08, 2006
Happy New Year
Hello to all my fellow fans (ha).
I've not given up on writing you and one of my new resolutions is (yes I know) to write you more frequently. I thought I'd tell you about my stresses of the day. Without getting into too much info I'll try avoid using names. I was able to chat to a good friend today. Her mother was killed a few monthes back (like right around the time of my last entry). I have really enjoyed her company as I have not gotten to hang out with her in what feels like ages. I do worry about her life choices and especially her boyfriends but I shouldn't complain as I have had my fair share of... not so amazing men. I'm very glad that she's going to see a therapist for her mother's murder.
I also got a chance to speak with another friend on the phone, she's been having a heck of a time. Her and her husband have been trying to have children for around 2 years now and no luck, it was also good to visit with her (on the phone). When I told her I was expecting (over a year ago) it was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. To complicate it, her other best friend had just a baby so I was not looking forward to telling her, it worked out good and she was happy for us. But the poor thing has the inlaws from Hell. I thought that my sister's were bad, but this friend's tops it all.
I have a good friend who is awefully depressed lately. We ALSO talked today. He's not sure what's going on but he has been cranky and is pulling away from his friends. So we talked online a bit. I hope that he is able to figure it out. I know what it's like to get in a rut and not know what it is or how to get out.
I had a chance to go through some old pictures today, I found a $900 paycheck I never deposited. When I told my husband I felt like he was going to flip out. It was 4 years old. We're working to see if the company will reissue it. I also found a bunch of old notes and letters written to me over the years by some friends. People that I don't keep intouch with since high school (except the one from my father.) They were thank you letters and notes of encouragement, which I really needed right now. You see, much like one of my friends I'm geting a bit depressed. I am starting to sleep as late as I can (till the baby needs to eat for a second time) and I never want to do anything, get dressed, talk to anyone, or eat or go anywhere. I haven't clean, and just try to excape in a book or movie or something else. But it is really starting to worry me because I'm starting to catch myself getting frustrated because the baby needs me. I mean hello he's a baby! I need to play with him and feed him and change his diaper and it usually is no big deal, but the past week I've been getting selfish with my time. I'm sure I'm a horrible mother now and someone will call social services on me soon. Regardless, he's been doing remarkablely good. We're about to try something besides baby cereal to eat and he rolls all over the floor, he'll be crawling any day now. He just needs a little more practice sitting up and he'll be really good at it. Can you get postpardum depression this late, 6 monthes after the baby?
I'm sure that a factor to my depression (and how I had all this free time on my hands to talk to so many people today) is how my husband has been deployed with FEMA for FOREVER. ok, really he's been gone since mid September but he's been deployed since August, some of it was local work. Anyway, he is sad because he is missing his son growing up and he doesn't like being alone and he is stressed so i get the job of cheering him up. He is working in Louisana trying to help with Katrina and Rita. He now is ONLY working 10 hours a day, 6 days a week and trying to study for his comprihensive exam of essays that will be from 9am to 5 pm (with a lunch break) covering his Master program material.
And lets talk about my holiday. My Father-In-Law is a great man. But he has a bit of a tendency to work his family's emotions. He has diabetes and reached the point where he needed dialisis. Now this man has been very sick since long before I met him and I understand that he was afraid to go on dialisis and that it's hard, and usually you don't stop dialisis until you die. But he decided he wanted to die (this was Christmas eve day.) He is saying his good bys to everyone and giving them blessings and everyone is crying all day. We don't live near the family so we hop in the car and drive like crazy to get to the house (he wanted to die at home) but before we got there we got a call. He changed his mind and wants to try it out. Well just great (we were about an hour away) so we just head to the hospital to see him. I'm very grateful that he is doing better and had a change of heart and wants to live, but how anti-climatical. My husband didn't know what to do, his emotions were all strung out by then and I found out that before I was dating my husband, his father did this all the time. I'm not complaining as much as listing one more thing I've been stressed about.
But now for a cheering up, lets end on a good note. I got to go visit my sister in September. She lives in ShenZen, China. I was able to go for 10 days and see her and her family. It was a once in a life time chance. I'm glad I got to go. It was really a neat thing to see. Pretty cool to have a son be a world traveler by age 2 months. Well it's late and I need to sleep. Farewell till next time.
I've not given up on writing you and one of my new resolutions is (yes I know) to write you more frequently. I thought I'd tell you about my stresses of the day. Without getting into too much info I'll try avoid using names. I was able to chat to a good friend today. Her mother was killed a few monthes back (like right around the time of my last entry). I have really enjoyed her company as I have not gotten to hang out with her in what feels like ages. I do worry about her life choices and especially her boyfriends but I shouldn't complain as I have had my fair share of... not so amazing men. I'm very glad that she's going to see a therapist for her mother's murder.
I also got a chance to speak with another friend on the phone, she's been having a heck of a time. Her and her husband have been trying to have children for around 2 years now and no luck, it was also good to visit with her (on the phone). When I told her I was expecting (over a year ago) it was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. To complicate it, her other best friend had just a baby so I was not looking forward to telling her, it worked out good and she was happy for us. But the poor thing has the inlaws from Hell. I thought that my sister's were bad, but this friend's tops it all.
I have a good friend who is awefully depressed lately. We ALSO talked today. He's not sure what's going on but he has been cranky and is pulling away from his friends. So we talked online a bit. I hope that he is able to figure it out. I know what it's like to get in a rut and not know what it is or how to get out.
I had a chance to go through some old pictures today, I found a $900 paycheck I never deposited. When I told my husband I felt like he was going to flip out. It was 4 years old. We're working to see if the company will reissue it. I also found a bunch of old notes and letters written to me over the years by some friends. People that I don't keep intouch with since high school (except the one from my father.) They were thank you letters and notes of encouragement, which I really needed right now. You see, much like one of my friends I'm geting a bit depressed. I am starting to sleep as late as I can (till the baby needs to eat for a second time) and I never want to do anything, get dressed, talk to anyone, or eat or go anywhere. I haven't clean, and just try to excape in a book or movie or something else. But it is really starting to worry me because I'm starting to catch myself getting frustrated because the baby needs me. I mean hello he's a baby! I need to play with him and feed him and change his diaper and it usually is no big deal, but the past week I've been getting selfish with my time. I'm sure I'm a horrible mother now and someone will call social services on me soon. Regardless, he's been doing remarkablely good. We're about to try something besides baby cereal to eat and he rolls all over the floor, he'll be crawling any day now. He just needs a little more practice sitting up and he'll be really good at it. Can you get postpardum depression this late, 6 monthes after the baby?
I'm sure that a factor to my depression (and how I had all this free time on my hands to talk to so many people today) is how my husband has been deployed with FEMA for FOREVER. ok, really he's been gone since mid September but he's been deployed since August, some of it was local work. Anyway, he is sad because he is missing his son growing up and he doesn't like being alone and he is stressed so i get the job of cheering him up. He is working in Louisana trying to help with Katrina and Rita. He now is ONLY working 10 hours a day, 6 days a week and trying to study for his comprihensive exam of essays that will be from 9am to 5 pm (with a lunch break) covering his Master program material.
And lets talk about my holiday. My Father-In-Law is a great man. But he has a bit of a tendency to work his family's emotions. He has diabetes and reached the point where he needed dialisis. Now this man has been very sick since long before I met him and I understand that he was afraid to go on dialisis and that it's hard, and usually you don't stop dialisis until you die. But he decided he wanted to die (this was Christmas eve day.) He is saying his good bys to everyone and giving them blessings and everyone is crying all day. We don't live near the family so we hop in the car and drive like crazy to get to the house (he wanted to die at home) but before we got there we got a call. He changed his mind and wants to try it out. Well just great (we were about an hour away) so we just head to the hospital to see him. I'm very grateful that he is doing better and had a change of heart and wants to live, but how anti-climatical. My husband didn't know what to do, his emotions were all strung out by then and I found out that before I was dating my husband, his father did this all the time. I'm not complaining as much as listing one more thing I've been stressed about.
But now for a cheering up, lets end on a good note. I got to go visit my sister in September. She lives in ShenZen, China. I was able to go for 10 days and see her and her family. It was a once in a life time chance. I'm glad I got to go. It was really a neat thing to see. Pretty cool to have a son be a world traveler by age 2 months. Well it's late and I need to sleep. Farewell till next time.
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